The Invisible Wall

“I want to give opportunity—Opportunity to express their experiences, grievances, and tell the world, especially the ignorant population, about the pain in other parts of the world or nation. I also want to help them get noticed, and be with them, understand them, and look for ways to inform others about difficult situations in the world and ways we can change gradually.

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Global warming, human rights, standard of living, and all the problems are related to the way we sleep, eat, drink, and make the smallest choices. If we all start becoming aware of the situations and what we can do to fix it, there will be great results. I hope I can receive God's calling through this experience, and turn the annoying truths and frustrating reality into something that will touch their hearts and change subtle decisions in their lives.”

This was my first paragraph and the last of a journal entry to the questions the Duke Engage in Tucson program had asked the students to write about before coming to Tucson. From what I can remember and by tracing the questions from my answers, the questions asked why we wanted to do this and what do we expect out of ourselves. It asked for my initial feelings before starting the program.

My thoughts haven't changed.

I think I’m ultimately here to find out what immigration means for me and also to let others show more concern for immigration. America is a land of diversity and it traces its roots back to immigration. It confuses me that people who have declared their country to be open to other cultures and exercise tolerance, to put on walls at the border and that the majority of people living in U.S. do not know the process of immigration and what happens to people who come in. I know this is because every person is busy living their own life, but isn’t one of the most fundamental values of America found in the idea of “land of the free”? And this is in part due to the government, for even me, who have received Permanent Resident status, do not know the process of immigration quite well. It is complex, EXTREMELY costly, and very few can get it because there are certain “qualifications” to become a citizen. “Qualifications” mostly looks at how this immigrant can contribute to the American society, such as skills in medicine or popular sport (in terms of David Beckham), but an average American him/herself might not meet the qualification. I know the process is too complicated for anyone to attempt, especially if it is costly. If American population actually research a bit into the immigration process, I think people might be very surprised.

I have yet to find out about what immigration means to me. I am an immigrant. I have permanent residency due to my dad’s heavy preparation towards coming into the country. I’ve been there when my dad was practicing English time to time in his pharmacy back in Korea when there would be no customers. I’ve been there when he was absent in the house for about a year because he went to U.S. to pass the U.S. pharmacy test, several other required exams and complete the internship. I’ve been there in immigration interviews. I’ve signed many immigration documents. I’ve also heard my mom and dad silently whisper in their room the amount of money that they need to give the lawyer to process these immigration documents. I’ve been there when our family couldn’t go to Korea when our grandmother was sick, because it might threaten our potential to receive the permanent residency status. I’ve been there when I was afraid I might not be acknowledged in National Merit Finalist, even though I have the necessary scores to be one on the PSAT. And I’ve been there when my mom cried when our green card came out just before going to college, and how much we thanked God for this miracle. If only U.S. citizens know how difficult it is to receive green card, people would say this was definitely a miracle and blessing from God to give it to us right at the time we most needed.

When our group played a Legal Immigration Simulation, I noticed how hard it was to become a legal immigrant. One could have a father in the country but still do not have the chance to apply because he/she has children. If one was single, he would still have to wait from nine to fourteen years just to get a green card. Also, people of different jobs are processed differently. There was just so much qualification to be met. And then I thought of my dad and I became so proud. He did it. We made it through. When we got the green card about a year ago, I didn’t cry or anything. I saw my mom cry and just thought “Well, it’s good that the green card came out before I went to college.” I never understood how much it was unlikely for anyone to receive the green card. The many qualifications one must pass, and even after passing, the fact that the door to U.S. is so narrow has made my parents worry in their sleep. And knowing my dad as he is--a man of integrity, value, and professionalism, an upright person and a loving father who, in my eyes, can ultimately be the most contributing citizen--I just find it a bit odd that a country of immigrants is outright saying that anyone other than their own citizen are simply unwelcomed. The process one goes through just reflects how unwilling America is to accept anyone new to their land. I’ve always been proud of my father and even though we were successful at gaining permanent residency, I noticed that it’s simply odd to be happy about making through barriers and barriers of legal papers, the invisible wall. The so many barriers of documents, the invisible wall, should not be made so high and so thick.

Yet, even when I’ve went through all these experiences, I still haven’t understood the exact process. I don’t know what kind of papers the U.S. government exactly requires and I don’t know how to interpret them. I don’t know how far it is for safety of the nation and how far it is to block out unwelcomed strangers. So, I’m here to find out what it personally means to me, as much as it impacted my life. And more so, I’m here to find out what more I can do about it in terms of society and the world.